Ain’t pretty, but I finally got myself a decent mic, am working on getting back in shape with the euphonium, and just had my first transcription project that I’ve had in ages.
And if you can figure out where this is from, massive brownie points for you.
How I ended up stuck inside a computer
Editor’s note: I wrote this a while back for the heck of it. I found it far more amusing than it actually is. It’s about time I publish it, and face whatever repercussions that entails.
It was an absolutely beautiful day. I had just woken up from a refreshing nap, and the sun was out shining above the white clouds and long grasses. I’d come to like napping out in the open in the grass. Sure, there were these creepy guys around me when I slept – I think they were playing cards or juggling or something – but in general they let me be and I let them be.
I decided to get up and explore a little bit. I could hear the ocean in the distance and smell the salt in the air, and decided I should go find the beach. I by-passed what looked like a park ranger’s building and found the ocean shore and the boardwalk shortly afterwards.
Now I know I sleep a lot. It’s just who I am, and I can accept that. So when I arrived on the boardwalk, I just had to sit down, take in the waves and the warmth, and before long I passed out right in the middle of the boardwalk. I might have been blocking part of the path, but I didn’t care.
It was perhaps the best rest I ever had. I dreamt I was able to fly and flew all over the whole world. I fought evil and went on adventures and explored mountains and caves and clandestine corporate headquarters. By the length of the dream, it felt like I must have been asleep for days.
So I was in the middle of flying over the mountains in the dream, and all of the sudden all I heard was this horrible flute. I opened my eyes, I was wide awake, and I was pissed. I got up and found this kid with a red baseball cap playing this little flute. I jumped forward to pound the kid, and then there was this flash of light, and now there was this big bird blocking me from clocking the kid.
What the heck? And then this bird gives me this big gash on my face with its claws that really hurt. So when it got close again I rammed into it and really did a number to it. But it got up, and blew a ton of wind at me and tossed me up. How does a bird even generate that much wind in the first place? It was crazy.
So I pounded the bird and knocked it out. I felt bad for it, but then in a flash it seemed to get sucked back in by this kid. Then with another flash, this giant butterfly came out – and it was huge – almost as big as the kid. It then sprayed this nasty stuff on me, and all the sudden I couldn’t move at all. I struggled and struggled but just couldn’t get up. And this kid throws what looks like a red and white baseball at me.
What happened then gets fuzzy. It’s almost as if the ball grew to be bigger than me and then opened and sucked me in. I tried to escape and fight my way out of this thing, but it just grew bigger and collapsed on top of me. Then I heard some computerized voice say that I was fat and sleepy, which ticked me off. And then I guess there was this wireless network that transferred me to some computer owned by this guy named ‘Bill.’
And now I’m stuck here. It really sucks.
from life import Human
from blogging import Blog
john = new Human()
john.status = “Yay college”
firstblog = new Blog(“UM Blogging Engine”)
firstblog.makeRandomPosts()
firstblog.neglect()
del firstblog
john.status = “Yay graduated”
jjleahycom = newBlog(“Wordpress”)
jjleahycom.makeRandomPosts()
jjleahycom.neglect()
del jjleahycom
newaday = newBlog(“Blogger”)
newaday.makeRandomPosts()
newaday.neglect()
del newaday
whatsjohnupto = newBlog(“Tumblr”)
john.status(“Another attempt can’t hurt…”)
